Do you consider Liquid Pig a message to yourself?
I think all my songs are first a message to myself. That’s what makes me write. I’m having a problem and I need to talk to myself. When I feel that I think other people could relate to them, that’s when I end up putting them on a record.

Do you prefer writing songs over talking to other people?
Probably. Prefer is a funny word. I probably do write songs more than I talk to other people, but that’s just the way it is at the moment.

Does that really work?
Oh, yeah. If I find myself repeating behaviors I’ve already learned I don’t want to do, there’s certain songs on Liquid Pig that I can listen to that remind me, “You cannot call anybody tonight. When you’re constantly apologizing and sucking the life out of people, they leave. You’re going to have to do this alone tonight and call them when you’re not feeling so needy.”

You’ve always been honest and forthright about putting your own psychology into the music. Do you ever look back and regret things you’ve put on record?
No, because I really do actually edit myself a lot. Once it’s a song, I can strip away what the song seems like it’s about and see what it’s really about. I always make sure that everything on the record I’m saying to and about myself is ... I haven’t put anything on there that I don’t think someone in the world can relate to.

So your songs are more about finding the universality in what you’re feeling.
Right. It does have to start with me, so I don’t try to deny that the songs are about me. It’s not as personal as writing about what you ate or having sex on a song. Some of those rap stars ... [Does an impersonation of R&B groaning and moaning] Those things are more personal to me than writing about longing and questioning.

As you progress as a songwriter and as a musician, do you find your songs become more or less accurate in describing your emotions?
I’m not really a songwriter! It’s not a craft that I learned—I just started doing it. I still do it in the same way. I might start by practicing the violin and then I come up with the melody. I might have some words. Other times, a whole song comes out at once. If I knew how to do it properly, it wouldn’t be so hard. I do think my voice is better.

It does sound cleaner.
I’ve learned how to use the mic better. And I hate to say this, but tea and smoke, or wine and smoke, make my voice have this thing...

Ah, yes, wine. Alcohol and alcoholism are mentioned repeatedly on Liquid Pig. Are you currently struggling with these things?
There are only three songs that I wrote about alcohol; the rest of them are more about relationships. I feel like the ones that I’ve written about alcohol are about your relationship to something that you need too much. It’s not really that different than the ones that are about people. When you put the song in context, it means something different. People ask, how is “Paper Doll” about alcohol? It isn’t. It’s about a person who might allow a friend to abuse them and play with them because they don’t have enough self-esteem to stand up and say, “I won’t be treated like this.” That might be the same kind of person who’d allow alcohol or drugs to make them feel better because they’re lonely. “Lullaby For Liquid Pig” isn’t about alcohol. It’s a love song about that same person. I need a fix of this person’s energy, and they aren’t giving it to me. I thought, “This sounds just like a relationship with alcohol.” It has the sweetness and confusion.

So it’s not really about alcohol or about relationships-it’s about being needy.
Yes! It’s about the behavior, about being needy and thirsty. Just wanting too much.

Do you ever feel that low self-esteem keeps you from asking for what you really need or want?
Oh, yeah. A lot of what I was writing this record about was a time when I was seeing how my behavior was causing friends to leave. I also was saying that this stuff was about them. The song “Dream Glasses On” was about trusting people to be friends, and then opening my eyes and they weren’t. At the end, I realized they might be if I would take care of myself. It was all about insight. About trying to figure out why you’re so lonely.

The question, “Why are you so lonely?” is a core that runs through your work. Not you specifically ...
No, it is me.

Do you feel like you’ve ever answered that question for yourself?
[Pauses] I think that by putting questions out, you learn to act differently and you start behaving differently. I don’t really think there are answers. There are just different perspectives and different ways of dealing with things. Even in therapy, you sometimes go, “Why do I still have this fucking problem? I’ve done therapy for 10 years now.” But you also had this behavior for 30 years. You’re just gonna have to keep looking at it. It’s gonna come back.

You have to ask yourself, “What are you going to do when it does come back?”
Exactly. It’s a better way of looking at it. When you don’t look at it that way, you become a victim. Then all this other bad crap comes out, like guilt and making other people feel bad for you and sucking things out of people. I was always a lonely little girl. I wanted to be by myself a lot. Do you feel that way? Is that why you like my music?

For me, the appeal of your music is a combination of the sound and the concept. Geek The Girl (Germano’s 1994 record) was brilliant musically, but also because it was about coming of age from a girl’s point of view.
But you know what’s weird about that record? When it came out, I got more fan mail from gay men. I don’t want things to be just about women. I’m a woman, of course but I always hate to think that it can’t relate to men. I think it’s coming from human problems.

What do you think it was about the record that appealed to gay men?
They would say stuff like, “I told my mom I was gay because of Geek The Girl. I’ve had to deal with keeping things secret and now I feel like other people have problems and I’m going to be a stronger person.” I don’t really know what about the record did that, but I’m glad that it did.

At times your music does feel like it’s exposing long-held secrets.
I can see that. I think that sometimes they are secrets that you’re telling yourself and you’re trying to find the answers. Since you’re by yourself, nobody has to know. The only way it works is if people listen to the records by themselves. I’ve been in places before when someone put on a record of mine and I’ve said, “Take that off!”

Have you ever asked yourself, “Are my songs too personal?”
Definitely. The song “Psychopath” (from Geek The Girl) used to be called “Suicide.” It was a really pathetic song. I had the music but the words were way too personal. Nothing was going to help anybody there. I just wrote a song about my neighbor who put these two beautiful cats to sleep because she was sick of having them and she wanted to paint her kitchen. I think that song’s going to be too personal. But I needed to write about it.