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VINTAGE MOVIES

Vintage Movies: “Gregory’s Girl”

MAGNET contributing writer Jud Cost is sharing some of the wealth of classic films he’s been lucky enough to see over the past 40 years. Trolling the backwaters of cinema, he has worked up a list of more than 500 titles—from the silent era through the ’90s—that you may have missed. A new selection, all currently available on DVD, appears every week.

GregorysGirl

Gregory’s Girl (1980, 91 minutes)

Breathing heavily, a teenage boy says, “Where is it? Oh yes, I see,” as his four mates scramble for a good position under the trees outside an open window of a Glasgow hospital. A young nurse has begun to disrobe, and the lads are very excited.

“Concentrate, you bastard!” says the tallest one. “Tell her to take off her brassiere.” Feeling the pressure, the shortest boy mutters, “I can’t breathe. I can’t see,” as he falls to his knees. “What are we doing tomorrow night?” asks the tall lad as they wander off after the peep show. “Coming back!” the others answer in unison. “We could bring sandwiches,” offers the short one.

All elbows and knees, Gregory Underwood has reached that awkward stage of adolescence. He’s grown five inches in one year and can’t control his new body. “It’s been a bit tricky,” he tells Phil Menzies, his football coach, explaining why he hasn’t scored any goals at his center forward position. “Terrible game,” admits Gregory (John Gordon Sinclair) after another loss. “Bad, very bad,” says Menzies (Jake D’Arcy). “You’ve got to laugh. It’s only a game,” offers Gregory. “Eight games in a row you’ve lost. I’m making some changes,” barks the coach. “Are you growing a mustache?” asks Gregory, eyeing Menzies’ furry upper lip. “On the team. I want to change the team!” says the coach.

“One advantage of learning to drive in this new town environment: the total absence of stray pedestrians,” advises the driving instructor as his pupil enters a roundabout. Suddenly, a jaywalker appears right in front of the car with the large red “L” on its roof. The driver swerves left just as the pedestrian ducks right. “Mirror and brake!” shrieks the instructor. Just as a crash seems inevitable, the car screeches to a halt a few feet from the pedestrian. “Hi, Mike,” says Gregory to the instructor as he rolls down the window. “Call me ‘dad’ or ‘pop.’ It makes me feel better, Gregory,” says the instructor. The pupil calls out to the youth, “That was my first emergency stop.” Gregory says, “That was really good.”

That afternoon, Menzies gives Gregory a one-week trial as goalkeeper and begins to audition for a new center forward. As the unlikely prospects awkwardly nudge balls around orange pylons, Menzies shouts, “A little more pace, now! Anybody can walk!” Dressed in a blue jumper and white shorts, Dorothy (Dee Hepburn) suddenly appears and says to the coach, “I’m here for the trial.” Menzies replies, “Look, this is a boys’ football trial, lass.” Nevertheless, the coach lines up his hopefuls to shoot at “a real goalie,” himself. He points at Dorothy, “You first, dear.” She quickly fakes the coach right and shoots left for an easy score. “She’s gorgeous,” murmurs Gregory of the new recruit.