Shipping News’ Jason Noble Is Inspired By: “Staying Alive”

One constant over the past 17 years of MAGNET has been the music of Jason Noble. First with the post-hardcore Rodan, then the classically inclined Rachel’s, the post-rock Shipping News and the theatrically concerned Young Scamels, Noble has always been involved with projects that interested and challenged us. Noble has two new releases: a live Shipping News album, One Less Heartless To Fear (Karate Body/Noise Pollution), and the debut LP from the Young Scamels, Tempest (File 13). Unfortunately, creating music is hardly the main concern for Noble these days. The 39-year-old Louisville, Ky., native was diagnosed with synovial sarcoma, a rare form of cancer, 15 months ago and is currently battling the disease with the determination, positive energy and modesty he has always displayed in his two-decade musical career. MAGNET is proud to have Noble guest editing our website all week. Read our Q&A with him.

Noble: Well, I’m more than a little unclear if I should write this one. Hopefully, the Bee Gees reference is funny enough to balance the following subject. When I first mentioned writing a little for MAGNET, my wife suggested this, and I want to be open with people. In August 2009, I was diagnosed with cancer (as my little bio blurb mentions). It’s called synovial sarcoma, and I laugh (a small awkward laugh) because this cancer type usually affects much younger people (and I took it as evidence of my immaturity and kid-like sense of humor). It’s actually not funny at all, but you have to hold on to little things to make you feel empowered, y’know? Since then, we have both been on an incredible adventure. I say that not implying that my journey was unique; in fact, it’s sadly very common and I’ve met dozens if not hundreds of people fighting cancer in the last 14 months. Beautiful people who show me what actual courage means. Through the generosity of friends and family—and an incredible amount of help from bands and artists who have donated and played shows to raise money—I’m somehow here, still on earth. Still loving the movie Alien and still looking into the heavens and seeing only heavens (atoms, stratosphere, milky rings, Laika and whatnot) but no angels or divinity. Although I can see the appeal. It’s really enough for me to say: Nature is amazing. And even include my illness as part of nature’s unpredictable (and ferocious) creativity. Many people have done so much for us, and unfortunately I can’t mention them all here. But, if it wasn’t for all of them … wow. No more nothing! It’d be the great silence for me.

A wonderful surgeon in Louisville stepped in during our first big crisis (in the early weeks) and said he could work it out. This was after we had been told it wasn’t gonna fly and I should punch my timecard for the last time. Yet he and his team, they made it happen. Next, ICU nurses, cardio people, support staff, volunteers. Then there were radiation technicians, x-ray technicians, MRI, CT Scan and I think at least one guy playing Sega all putting their time and life into our struggle. There was my oncologist and also an incredible person who runs clinical trials who choose to help guide us when we were lost. Then we were lucky enough to travel and receive treatment at MD Anderson in Houston. Because of Greg King’s (and also Patrick M’s) family experiences with MDA and their advocacy, we found ourselves at one of the major research facilities in the country. In the last year, MDA has worked tirelessly to control my cancer, which—without being overly “movie of the week”—was rapidly advancing and being generally rude to my body. As Jeff Mueller said, “It wasn’t paying rent and was basically a freeloader.” Chemotherapy, transfusions, then “targeted therapy” followed. We took a breath, then, somehow—I don’t know how—we were still here.

I don’t discount prayer or human kindness or belief in any way. I receive high-tech scans and also get treated with 1,000-year-old Chinese accupressure and Jin Shin Jyutsu. I was in a wheelchair, but now I’m able to walk (most of the time). We’ve found that people are unbelievably good (I don’t know which ones were Republicans or Democrats or Green Party or Knife Swallowers), but they all helped. Helped us onto planes, into cabs, up stairs—they were literally taking a stranger’s hand and saying, “Here, let me.” I can basically eat, sleep and lately have been able to make art again. My friend Christian was just here in Louisville recording with me. We even got to hang with Rachel and our extended family of musicians. Can I be a little obvious? I found out when your life is draining away that you cherish everything. The hem of your sweetheart’s coat or the philodendron that Agostino Tilotta bought for us or a sweet “battle-action” Dr. Lizard action figure from our pal Edward. Perfection, all of it. And I found that art comes from some life force or something because I was silent (on the inside) for the first time in my adult life when I was just out of surgery. To the family and friends to the bands and the printmakers and the person who carved a homemade cane for me, I can only say: You are equally responsible for keeping me alive with the doctors, and your decency and warmth has inspired us forever.

My wife Kristin has experienced this whole year with full clarity. When I had weeks and even months of dreaming (or narco-drifting), she was there. No amount of words can express my gratitude. What can I say but that you hope in your life to have someone actually love you for what you are. When I was battered and bent, she never looked away. When I was sick (and was frankly really gross and stuff), she never wavered. I still don’t know what to say—don’t know how to live a semi public life—without sharing this all. I ask your pardon if I got too personal or made you feel like you stumbled into a bad Lifetime movie. One big thing I would like to say: I’m doing well, right now, and we’re so glad to be able to share that. It’s literally a day-to-day experience. Sometimes we falter. And I hope to walk better. And I hope to play shows someday. And I hope we can one day have a “normal” kinda life again. But, for all the work and sometimes tears, for all the incredible efforts by our community, I know it’s not about what you “deserve” or being special. There are people that work just as hard, and are loved just as much, who can’t overcome this disease. I’d like to say to them: You are in our thoughts and with us everyday. And, always, thank you for listening.

Artwork after the jump.

This entry was posted in GUEST EDITOR. Bookmark the permalink. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

18 Comments

  1. Douglas Miller
    Posted November 21, 2010 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    Absolutely beautiful. We love you Jason.

  2. Posted November 21, 2010 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    Hi Jason.. it’s Kevin’s Mom.. been keeping touch about how you’re doing.. been throwing some special prayers your way and only wish you the very best!

    Linda

  3. Ann Massey
    Posted November 21, 2010 at 9:03 pm | Permalink

    Jason, as I’ve told you before, you are such an inspiration to so many. This is another beautiful piece you’ve written. Keep up the good fight! Love you.

  4. Daña
    Posted November 21, 2010 at 11:48 pm | Permalink

    Just beautiful, Jason, especially the last paragraph about dear Kristin. So glad y’all have each other. Her strength surprises no one who really knows her. Sha-boom, sha-boom, Life could be a dream, sweetheart(s).

  5. Posted November 22, 2010 at 12:18 am | Permalink

    Hey. Just wanted to tell you what a great article this is that you wrote. There was no one better to write this and tell your story. What you wrote about Kristin was awesome– I’m so glad she’s in your life. I know it may sound strange to say how lucky you are, but sometimes, it takes those rough circumstances to let us see it, and that’s true here… You have friends, family, and a wife who all love you so much, and now, you always will know it. There’s nothing better in life, I think, and some people will never get to experience it. You’ve been through so much it’s unbelievable, & I’m so glad you’re feeling better (when you are:-) Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It’s nice to know you’re doing well and that there are so many good people out there… 🙂 Ya’ll are doing great!

  6. Caryn Mucci
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 4:41 am | Permalink

    How beautifully written and lived!
    Jason and Kristen you have the “one” thing that every human wants and needs…and that is a LOVE … What a beautiful Love story you two are making.
    Peace and Love.

  7. Nancy Peterson
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 7:19 am | Permalink

    Jason,
    You and Kris continue to inspire me with your Be Here Now
    spirit. I cherish my time with you both. Thanks for sharing
    your thoughts, insights, and humor with all of us. You are
    both blessings to so many folks. Love you, Nancy

  8. Eve Miller
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 8:59 am | Permalink

    Thank you J for the little window into your experience. I am so grateful for your fortitude and the love & help of friends & strangers. So overjoyed you are able to make things again – it’s a gift to us all my dear friend. Love to you & Kristin.

  9. David
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    love you jason noble. you help me learn how to be a better man.

  10. Rebecca Cornwell
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Amazingly well written… You put things into words better than anyone I know.
    It’s been an amazing journey and I cherish every minute we have with you! Can’t wait to see what the future holds.

  11. scott halbleib
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 10:45 am | Permalink

    i hope that all your hopes and dreams come true. i think your humble inspiration and creativity should and will stand the test of time for years to come. as always i wish u and yours the very best. and if you need ANYTHING, let me know. i’m just around the corner.

  12. Rose Isetti
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    Jason,
    Thanks to Kristin’s post on Caring Bridge, I was able to find this site and I’m grateful. Your telling of the journey that you and Kristen are making is truly inspiring and I want to share it with two people I care about who are in treatment for aggressive cancers. I hope your journey will continue to be enriching and considerably easier. Best to you both, Rose Isetti

  13. Roree
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

    Jason,
    It is beautiful to take in just how kind people have been and continue to be.
    Love to you and Kristen from London.
    Roree

  14. Joy Peterson
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. You and Kristen are an inspiration. May your health continue to improve and you have many good years together. Joy Peterson

  15. Marie Coma
    Posted November 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

    Jason, this is so honest and real and beautiful. I’m so glad you wrote it, and I am so glad I got to read it. I am always so happy to see you and Kristen. You are both such bright lights! Hope to see you soon.
    LOVE,
    Marie

  16. Adam Kramer
    Posted November 23, 2010 at 7:17 am | Permalink

    Jason, You’re now and have always been a true inspiration for me. I feel blessed to know you, you’re amazing!
    Much love, and see you SOON!
    Adam

  17. Anne Maron
    Posted December 5, 2010 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    Jason, dear Jason, of poetic heart and soul, you write of the beauty you have found in life, living, people, things, and in so doing you exemplify beauty, grace and gratitude. Well said, well done.

    I send you warm wishes for strength and health, and to Kristen, your loving partner, my utter respect for showing such grace under fire.
    Anne (Danny and Melanie’s mom)

  18. Jason Carty
    Posted January 2, 2011 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    Hey man, I’ve checked in occasionally over the years to see what’s been happening with your various musics. Didn’t expect to find all this news. Jeez. Well done for getting through this last year – you obviously have balls of actual steel, or maybe titanium? I’m very glad to see there’s a new Ship album out. I’ll grab it immediately. I downloaded a live bootleg of yours from your London show at 93 feet east, and was pretty moved when just before your last song you whisper into the mic “we like the band Geiger Counter”. One day, we will be ‘proper’ pen pals again. Whad’ya say? I’m sending more love than you can fit in your pocket, your friend across the ocean, Jason xxx